How to re-programme your Inner Critic for success
Are you tired of not achieving the financial success, lifestyle or happiness that you dreamt of and are working so hard to achieve?
If so, then you’re going to love this blog…
I’m going to tell you how overcome the top obstacle that is limiting your success.
Most clients I work with, tell me that lack of confidence is what holds them back from achieving their personal and professional goals, but that’s not true…
If you dig a little deeper into where lack of confidence comes from, it usually stems from the negative talk that’s going on inside of your mind… what’s known as the “Inner Critic”.
“The Inner Critic is usually experienced as an inner voice attacking you, saying that you are bad, wrong, useless or worthless”.
This constant self-judgement holds you back, dents your confidence, makes you doubt yourself and stops you from taking action. It can make you unhappy and less successful than you would like to be, or are capable of.
The Inner Critic is negative, personal and can relate to any area of your life. Sometimes you may even think it’s on your side, protecting you from embarrassing yourself, taking risks or failing.
It may sound like this:
“If I agree to deliver that presentation, I might mess it up and make a fool of myself. What will everyone think of me? I’ll do it another time.”
The Inner Critic is the voice that tells you you're not ready, that you’re don’t have enough confidence or the right skills and that you don’t have the right body or looks.
The most hurtful Inner Critic thought is what’s known as the ‘”one two punch” a term coined by Author of Playing Big, Tara Mohr. First, you talk harshly to yourself and then you berate yourself for doing so!
Recognise this one…?
“That was the worst interview I’ve ever had, I’ll never get the job.What possessed me to say that, I’m so stupid. I should never have applied for it.”
Often times, you may think that the Inner Critic is motivational, encouraging you to take action, but it’s actually harmful to your wellbeing.
We all have motivating thoughts that drive us forwards, but there is a difference between Inner Critic thinking and Realistic thinking.
Inner Critic thinking causes you to feel stress and tension – it raises cortisol levels in your body. Realistic thinking, on the other hand, speaks more calmly, asks curious questions and allows you to seek solutions.
But, how can you tell the difference between the two?
Inner Critic thinking might say
“I’m too fat to fit into the outfits that I would love to wear. I need to lose weight or I’ll never be seen as professional and taken seriously.”
Realistic thinking would say
“I would love to lose a stone. My clothes are a little tighter than usual and I don’t have as much energy. I’ll contact the gym this week and enquire about a membership.”
So, where does the Inner Critic stem from?
In a nutshell, it exists to protect you - to prevent you from encountering pain or harm. When you contemplate doing something that brings on emotional risk - the risk of rejection, failure of embarrassment, or simply facing the unknown, your safety instinct does all it can to try to lure you back into your comfort zone.
Unless you learn to re-programme your Inner Critic, it will continue trying to keep you safe within your comfort zone and hold you back from achieving the success and happiness that I know is possible for you.
How do I re-programme my inner critic?
Recognise when your Inner Critic is showing up. Understand its motives - what is it trying to protect you from?
Separate the “I” from your Inner Critic thought and replace it with “You”. Then ask yourself “would I say this to a friend?” If the answer is No, then don’t do it to yourself…be kind!
Focus upon reframing the Inner Critic thoughts with Realistic ones.
Top Inner Critic hack.
One quick and simple action you can take away today and at any other time your Inner Critic shows up, is to:
Write down the Inner Critic thought on a piece of paper or post it note.
On a separate one, write down a Realistic thought.
Then, bin the Inner Critic thought and place the Realistic one somewhere that’s easily accessible and visible to you. Each time that same Inner Critic thought shows up, refer back to your Realistic thought.
The key is consistency - if practised regularly, over time you will start to re-programme your Inner Critic thoughts with Realistic ones.
“If you gave your inner genius as much credence as your inner critic, you would be light years away of where you stand now.”
- Alan Cohen
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